Hello Guys! Compliments of the Season!
Here is the 3rd edition of ‘My Name is Love and I’m not Stupid’.
I hope you enjoy as you take a Read!
Looking forward to reading all your Comments and do well to share the post, after all it’s a season of sharing…Lol!
God bless You!
I sat on my ‘power chair’ (it’s what I call my executive office seat; to me it has always represented the position of authority and power I have over my employees and a smoke screen of who I am to my equals…), I sat across him and I saw the pain in his eyes which he made no attempt to mask by his macho nature. The tears that threatened to break loose the flood gates.
I heard the pain in his usually deep sonorous, sensual voice and I saw that look of unbelief and betrayal and regret written all over his once charming and handsome face.
I knew I had hit him below the belt the moment I had uttered the words “sorry, I just don’t love you no more”. I knew I had lost him.
I watched my prince charming lose his charm.
“Ife mi, why?
What did I do wrong that we can’t talk about?
How did we get to this point that you could be so mean to burn me with these carefully picked acidic words.
What happened to all our plans for the future?”
I looked on stoically, refusing to give in to the many screaming thoughts in my small head to take back my words.
Just then, I saw the flood gate of tears open as tears rolled down his tender cheeks. I knew I had to do something before I lost it, I promised myself never to cry in front of him.
I stood up; walked to my window, looked at the skyline view and I told him once more the only word I could come up with, “I’m sorry…”.
“sorry? Is that all you have to say?
I have given this relationship five years of my life and all you can say to me right now is sorry?
I have compromised, given up on so many important things in my life just so our relationship will survive and grow but this is all what I get, sorry.”
He suddenly stops ranting and total quiet envelopes the office.
“Please sunshine, don’t leave me now. Please stay with me.
How do I live without you, it’s impossible and you know it. You are the air I breath, without you I’m nothing.
I don’t even know where to start from without you. Please stay with me, I beg you.”
As composed as he tried to be and sound I could still hear the crack in his voice.
Shaking my head I turn to him with tears in my eyes and I said it again “Bolatito I’m sorry. I know you are stronger than this; you will make it through. You can still live again, live without me. You may never be the same but you will get used to it eventually.”
He looked at her vacoucsly, not believing what was happening to him; to them.
This was not the loving and caring woman he had been in love with for the past five years. Something was wrong somewhere and he was determined to find out what it was.
“I’m not letting you go sunshine; we are destined to be together and so it must be. Don’t even imagine or think for a second that I’m going to let you walk out of my life. No! Don’t.”
She felt anger erupt from her inside that she hadn’t known was there rise to her chest as she gave him a deadpan look and screamed, ” Tito get the fuck out of my office and out of my God forsaken life. Damn It! We are not destined for anything, in fact there’s no such thing as ‘destiny and love’ so quit with all the drama already”.
She was visibly shaking with rage as she ordered him out of her spacious office.
If he was ever shocked before now, he was now taken-aback at her outburst and use of words and her effrontery to order him out of her office.
Somewhere deep inside of him he knew he had lost her but for some strange reasons he was in self-denial, choosing not to believe all that has happened in the short space of time this morning.
His eyes gleamed from shock and the many shaded tears that willed itself to a halt.
He gave her a hard stare searching for the sweet beautiful soul he once knew but she was nowhere to be found in the image that stood imperiously before him.
He strode to the door without a backward glance at his sunshine; well maybe she was now his moonshine.
Now alone in her office she broke down and cried so hard that she shook from her inside out.
Tosin opened the door without knocking. She happened to be her best friend right from childhood where they grew up in the same affluent neighbourhood and went to the same school. They referred to each other as friends of life.
She spotted her friend slumped on the turkish rug in her office crying her heart out. The spasm of the pain that radiated from her was so heartbreaking that she couldn’t help but shed her own few tears as she joined her on the ground, hugging and muttering words of comfort to her.
“I see you told him off”. She said.
She rocked her in her arms until she calmed down. Tired and exhausted from the emotional drain, she knew she needed to talk to someone and thanked God that Tosin was here. She always knew all the right things to say in any situation. She was more or less her rock when ever she hit rock bottom which was not that often.
Tosin took her hand and led her to the sofa and went to make them black coffee just like they both loved it.
“So tell me everything that happened”. She said as she sat beside her.
“I don’t want to talk about it”. She replied as she sipped her coffee. “Okay! “So how did he take it?”
“Don’t you think that’s a dumb question to ask?”. She answered hot-tempered.
“Hey babe, calm down already. I told you to tell him the…”
Is that it? Tell him the truth he won’t be able to live with, the truth that will kill him?
I love him and I want it to end on that note.
I am protecting him. Get that in to your thick skull and let things be the way it is.
Do you know what telling him the truth will do to him?
He keeps talking of destiny and love but he doesn’t even know that destiny has nothing to do with love. They are both in a class of their own.
He doesn’t need to know the truth. He is better off without it.”
“Hmmm…you are so stubborn you know. So you are protecting him abi, but he is also in pains right now. He is in love with you to bear your burden with you.”
“That’s what happens when you are crazy in love with someone, you get to get some heavy weight shared or taken off your shoulder altogether. The person is supposed to be there for you to share in your pain and in your joy.
So babe, stop this selfish love display of yours. It’s not helping either of you right now”. Tosin opined.
As far as she was concerned, Tosin had always been a love addict, acting as if it was the only thing she lived for. She had a steady stream of guys fall at her feet in the name of love but at the end of the day she always came crying to her how they all failed to love her, regaling her with tales of how they broke her heart but in all of these she kept believing in the so-called love. She was now madly in love with the very famous multi talented Lagos socialite and enterprising entrepreneur David a.k.a ‘Bishop’. She just hoped they will head to the altar already, at least this has been her longest and most peaceful relationship so far.
She had promised herself never to succumb to the idiosyncrasies of love until she had met Tito five years back.
It was like lightning the way she fell for him.
He was very funny and witty at the same time, he made her laugh until tears begged for release. He was also not afraid nor felt inferior to her because of how knowledgeable she was. He was in a class of his own. He also came from a wealthy family but that never reflected in the way and manner he related to people unlike some her colleagues who always took pleasure in putting down people they felt did not belong to their social class. He managed one of his family’s many subsidiary oil firms.
Yes! She might have fallen in love with the most down to earth, most handsome and charming man in the world but she was so afraid of losing herself in love for she believed that loving someone to the degree of losing oneself was and is still unhealthy.
She wasn’t willing to tell him the truth because according to her, she loved him so much to let him learn of what has happened to her.
In her books, it is wrong to tell someone you love with so much passion your secret, it will eventually become a burden to him as it is to you. So why burden the person when you are supposed to make him happy.
Once he learns of your secret he cannot unlearn it.
It is wickedness to even think of allowing him bear the burden that might eventually kill him emotionally or otherwise.
It is better not to learn of a thing at all than to learn and choke on the truth.
The truth should be kept compartmentalized in a box somewhere in your head, far beyond the reach of the world, maybe until the world gets to know about it.
The truth is a jigsaw-puzzle that is the property of a single soul, not to be shared like chocolate bars to the people or person you love.
To her, she was protecting him.
To her, this was the only way to love him.
The years spent together meant nothing if the truth is known; better to cherish those years in pain and heartache than to throw away the memorable intimate moments they both shared in the last five years.
Yes! This is the best thing to do.
This is the price of love.
It is called sacrifice.
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To be continued next to week
Graphic design credit: Gbadebo, Ayodele Solomon