I hope you’re doing well and life is working out fine for you. Not a day passes by that I don’t think about you.
Six years passed and I still long to see you, sometimes I wonder if you’ve ever seen me and pretended not to if you ever want to? What you think of when you remember the day you locked me up in a room with your brother so he could molest me. I have questions, I want to know why you did it, I was sure I didn’t do anything to deserve that kind of setup. We were going to be good friends but you had to put ripples in a calm sea.
The outcome of that day threw me against the wall and broke me to pieces, my life took a different turn as well as the opinion of myself, I started to view myself as a thing to be used. I just practically lost everything… For so long my peace was missing, I’d think back and replay that afternoon in my head, hoping I could go back in time to change how that day played out.
I walked in circles for hours without clear thoughts, trying to understand why you treated me that way.
I still walk by your grey house almost every day, I look up at that window facing the estate gate and my heart skips again with the regrets of how I should have done some things differently… Should anyone be allowed to go through such pain? The heaviness of even bearing such secret is a lot, it can’t be said in the household I come from, how do I begin to explain. I carried this pain for years but I found hope, I found somewhere to drop all my worries, I found a friend to talk to, I’ve had many nights to cry my pain away. But I still have a vacuum, I feel like I need to have some questions answered then I’d have my final cry and move on with my life.
I hope to see you again because I have unanswered questions but most importantly I need to tell you I’ve forgiven you in person.
About the Writer: Anonymous