Remember when we last spoke and you told me of the exciting thing that happened to you? You have no idea how happy I was for you, that something good was happening and that you had a reason to celebrate. I felt so good that someone I knew was celebrating, honestly, I don’t know how else to feel. I’ve never understood jealousy. In my mind, if someone I know is rejoicing it just means that joy is around the corner for me too so I get excited.
I told someone about your good news today. I told of how it came at the right time for me. You see, that day I received a heartbreaking news and I had cried a bit before putting a call across to you. I had been praying about it as well and in a way, I felt that your good news was God’s way of telling me He’s right here with me and he’s taking care of mines.
It’s been really tough you know, this life thing. We got so used to playing on the shore that we didn’t realise it when the waves swept in and put us in the deep end. What’s that song we used to sing again? “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders…” lol… Easier sung. But this is my life right now. I literally don’t know what tomorrow is coming with. Like where I’m going to wake up in and what I’m going to do about food and stuff. But strangely I feel a lot closer to God than I’ve ever felt in my entire life! Weird huh. He’s been my only Hope through all of this and I feel Him you know, in those little bouts of happiness, a ray of sunshine here, a whiff of freshly scented miracles there. I know He’s close and He is gently urging me closer to Him.
I miss you, friend. I miss having you around. You always gave me so much hope and I could always bounce off of your faith. You sort of got me. I’ve always thought we were cut from the same cloth in the way we reasoned. Ugh! no one gets my jokes here. You always did. I haven’t made any friends here, I’m not sure if it’s me or people. I’ll take the blame. I don’t try hard enough. I’ve come across really cool people though, everyone seems to be onto something and I’m left watching from the outside. I kinda have to find a way in but you know me, I never learnt how to be a people pleaser, too much of a straight shooter. I think sometimes I am my own worst enemy. But hey somehow you were fine with that.
Funny despite all of this I still have dreams. I laugh hard at myself sometimes cos I have no idea how or when these things will come to fruition. But that’s what we’re supposed to do right? Dream big. Keep the faith, never lose hope, and keep a positive mindset. I’m trying hard at the last one though. I came across a post on Instagram once, in it the lady had an old picture of herself and she captioned it “….it was a tough time. These were the days I questioned my dreams and my future. I questioned God’s plan for my life…” I read that and I thought to myself “gee you’re gobsmacked in the core of that”. If my life right now were a high school graduate portrait I’d steal that quote. But it got better for her cos towards the end she had this to say “….Thank God for pictures that remind us of our foolishness, and lack of trust in our faithful Father… My life is a testimony of God’s faithfulness… And flashbacks are a good reminder of how far God has brought us…” I can’t wait to sing her tune someday and for all this to be ‘flashback’.
Friend, I pray for you, I pray you have all your dreams come true in ways your mind could never conceive, I pray we have all our dreams come true, I pray we find fulfilment and purpose in this thing called life, I pray our walk with God is valuable to Him, I pray that we grow to know and understand what is the hope of our calling in Christ and I pray we truly have a personal revelation of God’s love towards us. This is the only way this will all make sense.
Till I see you again dear friend
Let’s keep those WhatsApp calls alive
About the writer: Anonymous
*I just thought to say here that we should please endeavour to comment (write something encouraging, I think this writer really needs it now – show some love with your words!)