Letter To My 15 Year Old Self


15 Year old001

Hey you,

Dry your eyes.

The world did not end today.

Yes, the skies opened up. And let out some rain and took a soul.

Yes, it seems like the world is spinning and has altogether stopped.

How can this be?  Daddy just took a nap and now he wakes no more.

Again I say “dry your eyes”…the world does not end for you today…

 

Let me tell you about your future…

I speak from a place of knowledge having lived it.

You will be okay.

You will remember today and laugh about it.

Even the pain will be happy pain and the memories.

Yes Daddy will not be there for all the fun memories you hoped he will see

No University Matriculations and graduation.

No first job and no celebration first paychecks.

No telling you off about boys, no pep talks about heart breaks (Like any Nigerian father ever did that)

Literally, nothing…

But mummy will be both father and mother and do a darn good job of it.

She will work hard to make sure you never miss the other parent’s loss and you will be forever indebted to her for it.

 

In other news, you will no longer be a tom boy!

Actually, you will look at those pictures of you being a tom boy and cringe in shame.

Red lipstick will become your signature as well as all that comes with it.

You will embrace heels, opting for the sneakers once in a while.

Your teenage acne will give way to great skin and a glow that comes from inner peace.

Trust me you do not see it now, but you will enjoy being a lady…coy and more.

 

Your relationship with God, so carefully orchestrated by God loving parents will falter.

You will question his existence and his faithfulness in tough situations.

You will backslide, flip side and all sorts of slides.

But there will arise moments when it is impossible to deny that only a higher being could have set you on such a good path after all.

Thus you will find God again, albeit with the regular cold shoulders in your relationship but your faith in God will see you through some amazing moments.

Then you will thank God for parents who taught you the ways of God from an early age.

 

You will hate your first job, and second, and third.

You will not even know what job suits you and even if you should work at a job but you will find a job you like.

Actually, it will find you, when you are not looking and you will love it.

Oh, and you will fail at your first business as well. Yes sadly so…

And make bad investment decisions.

You think now that magically that you will love all things that come with being an adult but actually, you will not and be depressed by the slow pace of progress.

Only a faith in a bigger God will lead you on your daily journey. A promise that tomorrow is always better.

You will find your purpose early but you will not do anything about it for far too long.

 

But it will stay on with you for a long time and nag at your attention until you give in.

 

Finally, you will travel the world.

All the amazing places you have read about in books and day dreamed of will be within reach.

It will appear like you are trying to make up for all the years of not exploring.

You will be happy and content, not in what you have physically but in an intangible way.

The kind of joy that comes from only knowing that your life isn’t yours exactly and you do not control the events but you trust an uncertain life to a certain God.

Dry your eyes I say again, You will be okay and okay is a good space to be in…

 

 

About the Writer: There is really nothing to tell about Nnenna Irebisi apart from the fact that she likes to be anonymous and always in search of self.

Oh! She loves travelling and exploring new places.

 

 

 

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