Hey ‘boyfriend in five years to come ‘,
I hope you’re doing great?
Let me introduce myself: Sharon, 5’ 4″, a little fair; kinda chocolate but not exactly like these perfect brown skinned sugar coloured girls… My complexion is kinda confused. You know: not fair, not dark, just ermm…just fine. Tiny pimples and spots here and there but not scary at all, nothing to worry about plus a good powder does well to cover them up.
You see, it’s quite important you know some of these things so you’ll have a slight picture who you’re about to meet. I’m not the most beautiful girl you’ll ever see on Earth ‘cos I’m not even the most beautiful girl in the neighborhood *rolls eyes*. I mean, I knew that since I was seven. There is this girl, Anita who lives behind our house. We were good friends and I liked her. I thought we were both the coolest kids on the block.
Low key, I used to feel I was more beautiful than she was but we were both cool anyways. You know, the girls who do the ‘telephone wire weave-on’ hair style every Christmas and mind you, not just the normal black coloured ‘telephone wire’ but the tinted one, at age seven! Boy, we were the finest girls in Pipeline! (that’s the name of my neighborhood)
Back then I had a neighborhood crush, Toye; one light skinned, fine boy like that.
You see, every girl liked Toye. No matter how much we played together, we all knew we were rivals in that aspect:
Toye the finest boy; Toye whose father was the richest in the neighbourhood; Toye whose mother will not allow him to play football with the rest of the boys. He was neat and we rarely saw him outside which just heightened our fantasies.
We were all rivals but never admitted it. Then guess what!?
He showed interest in Bunmi! I mean, he liked Bunmi!
How could he! I was devastated! Heart broken! Torn apart!
It was then I knew Bunmi had also seen me as a rival or more of an enemy. She told the other girls in the neighborhood that she had always known she is more beautiful than I am. It was painful but there was nothing I could do about it because she had proof!
Toye liked her and not me!
But hey, girls over bros!
I just had to let it go, all the ‘soft- soft’ signals I had been giving Toye which he had not seen had to be stopped with immediate effect ‘cos you know, one mustn’t sly a fellow sister.
I accepted defeat: I am not the finest girl in the neighborhood, Bunmi is.
And you know, perhaps that’s the reason I still do not like guys who are light skinned. They often think they are so fine and then, it gets into their head and they end up being unreasonably proud boys who cannot make right decisions. Call me biased ‘cos of what happened with Toye when I was younger but well…I just really hope you, dear next boyfriend are not light skinned.
This brings me to the next point, many times I wonder if you’re around already. You know, in Yoruba, they say what you’re looking for in Sokoto might just be right there in your sokoto.
P.S. ‘Sokoto’ is a far away city in Nigeria (I’m explaining ‘cos you know, you might be based abroad: in California or something😂, you can’t stop a girl from hoping😂)The second ‘sokoto’ means your dress pocket. The proverb then means the miracle you are expecting from far away might be so near and you just didn’t know it.
So at times, I wonder if you know me already. Perhaps you’re a friend and I’m the one who has not been noticing you or vice versa. Now that’s the reason for this letter, let’s discuss the problem,
Why haven’t I been noticing you?
ARE YOU LIGHT SKINNED!!!! *Freaks out*
That must be it! That must be it! Oh no!
*Breathes in and out*
Okay, Sharon calm down.
we can work something out, we really can. You guys are human after all, right!?
So we can do some damage control, which includes:
- Keep your beards! This is extremely important my dear!
‘If you’re black, white, yellow, even chocolate brown’ *singing*, the beard is absolutely necessary.
You do not have to be worried about your height. You see, I’m a short girl (people say it a lot) so I believe no guy is or rather should be shorter than I am.
I mean, if a guy is shorter than I am, then it has become something else. Kilode!
Now, they say there is an element of seriousness in every joke and you must know, all I’ve written above are jokes but if any form of seriousness wants to be squeezed out of it, then it is this:
DO NOT BE LIGHT SKINNED, please honey. Do not be!
Lastly, there are times I’m a bit apprehensive. Sometimes, when I hear a particular message or gain a particular knowledge, I always wish you were here with me to hear it too because I know this knowledge will be of value to my relationship in the future, my relationship with you.
For example, when I learn about love and it’s thoroughness; how to be a better person which will definitely translate into being a better wife to you every day of our lives. I’m learning baby, not even for you but for God. He teaches me simple etiquettes and manner of behaviors like how to handle my emotions; how not to be rude no matter how annoyed I am with a person (A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger- Proverbs 15:1); how not to allow people (not even you) lord my emotions and reactions for he alone is Lord, literally (If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved- Romans 10:9). When people hurt me now, I run to the secret place, God. It makes me not want to hurt them back with harsh responses or by keeping malice. I just let it all go at the secret place. I’m growing to be a strong woman. You will be proud of me baby and in all truth, I am not scared. I am not scared you will not be as great as I have always thought you will be.
Before now, I used to wonder what it will be like if after working hard at being a better person, then I meet you and realize you are not even worth it but it actually isn’t possible for if you’re not the man who will lead me, then you will never find me; we will never happen. (He who finds a wife, finds a good things and obtains favour from the Lord- Proverbs 18:22)
For I believe, we choose who we want to be with; ordained by God but our choice.
So I believe you will find me, you! Yes you, who believes in God; You, who believes in him so much you allow him take over your words, actions, and reactions; You who have a relationship with God.
People say stuff like ‘there is no boy like this anymore, you girls should stop ‘fantasizing’ and just forget it’ but hey, ‘is it their wait!?’.
If you do not come by, then I’ll gladly remain single (I sign this with my own hands) for it is better to be single than be forever mismatched, unequally yoked.
Till we meet, I am your future girlfriend.
P.S. When you meet me, you will understand why it took so long. I’m Gold and Gucci baby *winks*
Another P.S. I think I might slap you the day I finally know it’s you. I mean like, Where the heck have you been!
Love you xo xo.
About the Writer: Sharon is a Christian, a spoken word artist, and a blogger. I love being alone so as to think up ideas and have fun with myself. My one desire is to write pieces that are real and relevant to people in their life situations. You can check out my blogspot: sharonpaulaspeaks.wordpress.com and my YouTube channel: iamsharonpaula
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