Letter To My Alter – Ego


Alter Ego

Hi ‘tunbi,

The face everyone sees; the façade, the prop. The persona you have put up for the world.

I watch you from within, and honestly, I’m impressed with what you’ve made of yourself. If I recall clearly, you took over the reins of this being in 2012. Just like the meaning of the name ‘tunbi, it was a rebirth.  You were supposed to be the alter ego, now you’ve become me, and I, you.

I like that you’ve made yourself many acquaintances. Totally amusing how words like Choleric & Sanguine are used to describe you. You’ve pushed this body – our body – out of its comfort zone. In this period you seem to have become an adrenaline junkie, took up Martial Arts, power lifting, scuba diving, solo vacations, learned how to ride a bicycle, etc.

If there is anything I wish came with you ‘tunbi, it would be the ability to dance – the struggle is real!

Intellectually, you haven’t lagged behind; burning the midnight candle reading tons of books, decent fluency in French & German, blossoming photography career, and multi leadership roles. You made the brave choice to jump into entrepreneurship even in the midst of the Nigeria economic turmoil.

There is no stopping you!

Nothing is impossible, no task is too complex, and no challenge is insurmountable.

An emotionless workhorse… you constantly remind yourself that danger is real, but fear is a choice. You live by the mantra of trying anything once – maybe twice.

I like that we both share the desire for excellence; the desire to constantly learn, do more and push boundaries. The problem with this is that you might soon reach a point where nothing satisfies you again, and the desire to achieve excellence strips you of all forms of empathy.

Honestly, I know you can’t be bothered by the methods you’ve used to achieve your results, but you seem to have overplayed this game. Words like caustic, a**hole (these two particular ones hurt because this came on my 21st & 25th, birthday from people I held high), insensitive, proud, eccentric, narcissist…the list goes on. Maybe people like the results you deliver, but not the person delivering the results.

Don’t forget, I still reside in you; a shy, calm and deeply melancholic persona. I dread the attention and I hate the spotlight; I just want to be alone. I show up at church to too many known faces, too many handshakes and hugs. Gosh, it’s exhausting. Half the time I just want to sneak in and out. Hitting the reset button is around the corner. Start all over again. Because deep down, all I want is a resting place, devoid of drama.

Maybe someday, you’ll switch back… perhaps become a more efficient combo of both.

Samuel

 

About the Writer: ‘tunbi Samuel, is an Architect and a Photographer, he hopes to push the creative boundaries and limits of both professions in his lifetime.

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